


Lead from Gold

by Korilans



Category: Original - Fandom
Genre: Emotions, fuck ‘em, fucking gremlins, sad feels, usless bitches
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-08
Updated: 2018-03-08
Packaged: 2019-03-28 17:36:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13908909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Korilans/pseuds/Korilans
Summary: Venting my emotions so bear with me.





	Lead from Gold

I wanted peace and you brought me ruin, are you happy? No probably not, I doubt you even care. You’re even more empty and decrepit than I am aren’t you? At least I know what parts I lack. At least I know how ruined I am.

Did you do it on purpose? Did you know how much you could hurt me? No probably not, roses can’t feel their thorns. Well let me tell you, your thorns are sharp. Even the memories of the smile you once brought to my face hurt, as much as the tears that now sting my eyes.

It’s hard for me to feel. I don’t move on so easily, I could never care so little. It’s like my emotions ran free and then they fell silent, exhausted, asleep. It’s time for me to gather my dear little monsters and put them to bed again, this is always the hard part.  
This is now the second time in my life I’ve been here. These are the same walls, only the characters have changed again. I thought I was better this time than the last, I was wrong... severely.

Was this your plan? Do you gain something standing in the ruins of my mind? I doubt it. A blade will never know the depth of the wounds it carves, but I shall tell you, these cuts are deep. My tears will be sure to etch your words into memories I won’t soon lose. 

Every secret I kept to myself until you, to you now a weapon. A connection I cannot sever though I may want to. I handed you my truths and you returned to my hands empty words. You must be an alchemist, from gold you made lead, not a very good one then.

What did I do? Wrong? Was I wrong? Was this my fault? Will you prove blameless in this enterprise? Did I cling to tightly to the words you gave me, and the refuge they offered from the imperfections of my own damnable self? Did I hold to close? So delicate like the crystal of a snowflake. Did your intention melt away because I cared too much? Only your silence seems capable of answering me. Isn’t that strange?

Were the world mine, I would’ve chosen you, once upon a time. 

I wish I could’ve been enough, I wish I’d been good enough?... No, I was good enough, but good wasn’t what you wanted was it? As imperfect as I am, I know at least that I was good. I cannot begin to understand, you now seem to exist perpetually beyond my comprehension. Admittedly not a hard place to exist relative to me, collectively our species is far to good at lying. 

Would you change it if you could? Would you take back all of those poisoned words and dead promises? Forced now to rot in the crushing silence that lies between us, until time itself sees fit to allow them passage to Lethe? Would you see fit to save them from the very hell you made for them?

These are my words, these are all I can give you to show you your thorns, do they help? Do you see now? My beautiful flower, my horrendous alchemist. I wanted peace, you brought me ruin. I gave you gold, you returned to me lead.

Do you see?


End file.
